Keyhole
by Spookysstarbuck
Summary: Jarod is sitting outside Parker's bedroom window.....


Rating: R / NC 17 Author's Note: It's something different from what I tried before. Don't kill me if you think Jarod is thinking differently about her, I think he'd act like that in this situation. Wouldn't he? He's just a male and hell, he liked her and isn't she stunning? So sorry if all males think that I am wrong . I am just a woman *g* Thanks to Mel again for the great Beta and to Cass for criticising all the time This piece of my art is for Nancers - worth to wait for it? Title: Keyhole Author: Mary Eve Parker ( ms.parkjer@gmx.at ) Note: A little extraordinary this time. I decided to give Parker another first name this time, something new but I think it's matching her also. Why should it always start with an 'M'? I decided to let it start with a 'V', why not? It's my story and they are mine at least for a couple of pages. Jarod is mine and Parker of course, like the action and the storyline itself. Disclaimer: Mine, mine and mine . you don't think that Craig and Steve would do that with them. Don't you? Summary: Jarod is watching Parker Category: MP/Other, MPJ pre-pretender, MPJ .. J POV Spoiler: before "Ranger Jarod" and its AU Note for reading: the cursive parts with the _._ are Parker's thoughts  
  
Keyhole  
  
FRIDAY NIGHT PARKER'S MANOR MAY 1st  
  
Have I mentioned that I am not happy sitting soaked in front of her bedroom window while it's raining cats and dogs here and she's having fun inside. Well fun, for her maybe but I am not even sure about this. Hopefully this little adventure won't end with me catching pneumonia but its too interesting to stop it right now, it is too interesting. Gosh I am even repeating myself. What a fool am I?  
  
Suddenly I saw a strong lighting above me. Everything went black.  
  
Some moments later I found consciousness again. I was still on the balcony in front of her room; obviously I hadn't blacked out for too long. It was still dark and no Sweepers were around me. Good job Jarod, really!  
  
_This was just the same jerk as the last one. Parker you've to get yourself somebody who can do this job._  
  
Shit what's going on now? Who was that? Parker's thoughts?  
  
Slowly I raised myself a little to see into her bedroom. She was alone now, dressed in her long black silk robe nursing a bottle of Scotch and a cigarette in the other hand. Typical Parker.  
  
_Why is it that hard for those guys to do it? Am I a woman, or not? Hell I am one, and dare to think something else about me._  
  
I can hear her talking?  
  
_At least Patrick or was it James . well at least he was good looking even . god, I've had a couple of jerks in bed over the years but none that small who thought that he could even bring me to orgasm. None. Why do men think that just a dick is pure satisfaction, that they won't need to do anything else than stick it into us . twice up and down . three soft moans and that's it? Fuck . that's exactly not what we.. what I want._  
  
What do you want Parker, let me know? Why do you let all those guys into your bed if you aren't interested in them?  
  
_It's time for bed, maybe there will be a "man" tomorrow for you Parker . there is still hope that somebody will really be able to do this job. It can't be that hard, can it? _  
  
Slowly she let the robe fall and I could see her spotless body in the moonlight. Even for her age her skin was unbelievable. She wasn't old, hell now, younger than me but she'd been through a lot. Her legs were sharply and well formed, her thighs muscular, not too muscular, just right. She was a runner, I can tell. Her hips small and well formed, her butt perfectly shaped, the V of her legs perfectly trimmed disembogues into a remarkable flat belly, and obviously she'd worked out a little. Her belly meets her ribcage, she was thin, even from my place you could count the ribs. But then it came, her breasts. How long have I been dreaming of this sight? They were full and round, more than a handful. They sat high on her chest and her areolas were nearly black. They fit her perfectly. More than a handful and not too much. Between these two perfect globes she had a mole, tiny but if you knew it, perfectly visible. God, she was just beautiful.  
  
She was in bed now, naked, just a thin sheet of silk covering the body I adore so much. What would I do to taste her? Tell her how perfectly flawless she was!  
  
I couldn't resist touching myself through my trousers. It wasn't the first time this happened when I was thinking of her and her body, her voice and her eyes. God how many men were afraid of those two perfectly blue eyes? Many, for sure. Slowly I let my hand trail southwards, unbuttoning my black Levis 501, classic and comfortable. Letting my hand into my boxer shorts and jerking off. I can't understand that a single man could resist her, well most of them couldn't at all, but none really satisfied her. I think at least that was her big problem at the moment. 'Finishing the job' or 'doing the job' what ever she means by that.  
  
I still can't understand why I am hearing it. What happened to me out there? Why do I hear what Parker is thinking?  
  
SATURDAY NIGHT BLACK AND WHITE CLUB MAY 2nd, 10.44pm  
  
She was wearing the most amazing dress she owns. It was low cut in the front, showing a little more cleavage than usual. The back of the red silk thing nearly didn't exist. Was she wearing something under it?  
  
_Three drinks and no men in sight! That's a lousy club. Are those assholes all married or is this dress too much for them. Would things change if I'd come naked? Hell no and you know that Parker, nothing changes. They don't think of you this way. You are a men murdering bitch and famous for it. How many years has it taken to establish that? And how many years will it take till they've forgotten this? _  
  
I was able to listen to her thoughts all night. It was a strange feeling to know things people don't dare to say but she .. she was so perfect that I could easily oversee her rough way of thinking about others.  
  
_This one looks nice. Nice ass at least but you know yourself that all nice looking ones are fakes in bed. Remember the blond one who even came before he was in your bedroom just because you started to undress on your way upstairs. Or Paul or was it Patrick? Hell the one who wanted to fuck you in the car and when you told him that you aren't that cheap . okay won't think about this little bastard._  
  
Oh poor Parker . maybe less intercourse would help to re-establish the good picture on the male sex?  
  
Two beers later she was still sitting there, remembering all those poor guys she had in her bedroom. If this was all she knew about the male gender then it's really sad.  
  
_Yes, that's the right one for tonight._  
  
Who? God no, he is at least fifty Parker. You can't think of him. But there isn't anybody else around. She stares at him. Hell, that's not even funny anymore, that's embarrassing.  
  
_Hopefully he'll still get it up. Just keep smiling Parker._  
  
He was in front of her now; about 6'5'' a small belly, not fat, expensive dress suit maybe even Armani, who knows. A matching tie. Perfect. He was smiling at her.  
  
I was sitting far enough away that she couldn't see me but near enough that I could hear her speak.  
  
"Andrew so, nice to meet you." "And your name is?" "Everybody calls me Parker." she said with a smile, a sad smile. "Fine Parker, what are you drinking?" "Scotch . Want to dance?" she asked. _This will be easily done; maybe even before midnight he'll be in my bedroom, behind me._  
  
They went to the middle where lots of couples were dancing and shaking. How long did it take her to morph into Sharon Stone? God I've seen Basic Instinct too often now. But she was really rubbing herself against him. Aren't you getting too old for this show Parker?  
  
SATURDAY NIGHT PARKER'S MANOR 11.55pm  
  
_Okay Andrew, try to remember that name later! _  
  
I was sitting in front of her window again. I had her in view. She was slowly undressing herself. Nothing new that she wasn't wearing a thing under that dress. At least Andrew seemed to be a gentleman. He was still dressed, sitting on her dressing chair and was busy watching her.  
  
_So he wants a free peep show or just striptease? He can get that if he does what I have been waiting for, for a week._  
  
She started to let her hand glide to her back, finding the zipper. Her back . another amazing feature. She pulled it down, very slowly. Parker wasn't dancing but she didn't need to. Slowly she made her way towards him and unbuttoned his dress shirt; the tie had gone long before. She helped him out of his slacks, shoes and socks and they slowly made their way to her bed. The comforter was already down, the sheets changed. Today they were white silk, yesterday it was dark blue.  
  
Parker was and will always be the most erotic person I've ever seen. Her way of gliding over the floor, to make herself invisible if she wanted to be alone.  
  
_No kissing on the mouth, I told you A. Andrew_  
  
He kissed her shoulder, her collarbone and her nipples, sucked slightly and she moaned.  
  
_That's nice . don't stop .. _  
  
I couldn't understand their words because the window was closed. My hand had found its way inside my jeans again, doing whatever it was doing. It had a will of its own when I was sitting there.  
  
Like yesterday and the days before she allowed Andrew only to take her from behind. Parker had never been a screamer (how does he know this? Just from watching?) and today I could tell the difference between a faked and a real orgasm. Well during the last days nobody had even brought her close to a real one. But they didn't know and would never. It was her secret. Maybe this was the job to be done? Bring her ..  
  
_Next time chose somebody who hasn't already had a vasectomy done because he has five grown kids with his lovely wife._  
  
She moaned, I could tell from the look on her face and the slightly parted lips. She started to fake it again. Did it take her too long? He was thrusting harder into her and faster. Her hands were on the headboard of her bed, her head between them.  
  
And she did it again. She really faked it. She screamed his name and oh wonders she really remembered the right one. He 'came' with her, pulled out; she went down to meet the mattress. He made his way to the bathroom, clearly cleaning himself off, went back to the bed where she rested. He touched her back, got into his clothes and went downstairs to his car.  
  
_And that was it again, Parker. Okay today we won't go to bed unsatisfied?_  
  
She opened the second drawer of her nightstand and pulled something out. No way Parker please, that's pure torture! A vibrator? You can't do that; you can't need it that much!  
  
I couldn't see what she was doing with it under the blanket but the picture came up my mind very clearly. Her thoughts were disturbing me completely.  
  
_Yes do this to me .. Deeper .. Yes exactly this point ... yes ..god .. do it like years ago, the first time we spent together._  
  
What was my Parker speaking of?  
  
_Your hands trailing over my body, exploring every inch of it, kissing and licking every bit of it. Yes harder please . you fill me so well .. no . it doesn't hurt anymore .. not this time . J.. no .. think of somebody else, woman!_  
  
Whom?  
  
_Yes a couple more strokes and I am there where I want to be and unfortunately again by myself._  
  
SUNDAY MORNING PARKER'S MANOR May 3rd  
  
Shit I must have fallen asleep here. I was still on the balcony in front of her bedroom and she was obviously not asleep anymore. The bed was empty, not made yet. I slowly looked at my watch. God it was almost 10 am. Good thing that I didn't park near the house this time. Thanks.  
  
Slowly I made my way down to the porch. I saw her silhouette in the kitchen brewing some coffee.  
  
_Another Sunday morning alone with coffee and the newspaper._  
  
She patted her stomach, not in pain. Then she grabbed a croissant and sat back down at her kitchen table and started to read the world politics part of the foreign press. If I am right it was an Italian paper. Maybe.  
  
_Ah, Berlusconi again, like always. I can't stand him but who is asking me? I can't remember the name of the president which was .. let me think . I really can't remember it . I am getting old. Shit .. okay don't think about it, let it just be. I hate my life, I really hate my life._  
  
She can't be that depressed, that's not the Parker I know. The Parker I know is a cold hearted woman. God what happened to her?  
  
_I hate sitting here alone, I hate drinking my coffee alone every morning. I hate waking up alone and I hate it to getting all these darn wedding invitation cards, child birth cards, cards when the kids graduate. I just hate it._  
  
She can't even read the newspaper in peace. Poor Parker. I assume that's the life the Centre wants to have her. Don't they? They never wanted her to have a family or a friend, something more than mad, and sad.  
  
SUNDAY NIGHT PARKER'S MANOR 9.43pm  
  
Not at the club tonight, Parker? Or at a Pub, a coffee shop?  
  
_Okay let's read a book. A book, how long is it since I opened one of those? _  
  
I saw her standing up from the couch heading towards the bookshelf. The books there never looked like they've really been read. She had a collection of Shakespeare printed in the late 1870s and a collection of some foreign writers, Germans as Friedrich Schiller and Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, the one or other in Russian, as Tolstoy and Puskin and French. I've also seen Dante and one of her favourites Dickens and Wharton. Long ago when I came first here that I was amused by the collection of books she owned. All were antique except a row of paperbacks in the very bottom row. She got one of those.  
  
_Yes that's it for tonight. I'll grab a bottle of red wine in the kitchen, build a fire and place a rug in front of the fire place._  
  
And so she did. I saw her gliding into the kitchen and coming back with a bottle of red wine and a typical Parker red wine glass. She hasn't changed today, that's another thing I'd noticed. She was in white cotton sweats and a tight baby blue turtle neck, unbuttoned and another remarkable thing - she was barefoot. Parker sat down, sipped her wine and opened the book.  
  
_February 11 . Shrove Tuesday . We came on the wind of the carnival. A warm wind for February, laden with the hot greasy scent of frying pancakes and sausages and powdery-sweet waffles cooked on the hotplate right there by the roadside, with confetti sleeting down the collars and cuffs and rolling in the gutters like an idiot antidote to winter. There is a febrile excitement in the crowds .._  
  
I listened the whole night to her soft inner voice. She didn't finish the book but it was a love story. A wonderful and magic love story. The moment she went upstairs I climbed into her living room to have a look at the book but she'd taken it upstairs with her. I waited a little, maybe twenty minutes. There was no noise or movement to suggest she was still awake.  
  
_ .. Yes you can do whatever you want," a voice was whispering. "I love you and you know that. I will always love you, today and in a hundred years." . God kiss me now please._  
  
Dreaming, my Parker was dreaming erotic dreams? Sure she was a healthy woman like so many others too.  
  
_Yes like that. He can kiss. I've always known. Those lips were made to be sucked on!_  
  
Don't let her distract you. Head towards her, look at the title of the book and head back home.  
  
_He is the only one who will ever give your stomach butterflies and who will get you wet even looking at you. He's the only one in your dreams, forever and ever. Even he'll never be with you for real . your hands are his . _  
  
Okay it was "Chocolat" by Joanne Harris. Wasn't she looking amazing? Her hair tousled wildly around her head, the sheets around her naked waist. Let it ride a little lower. It didn't. Her hands next to her, she was laying on her belly. Her face soft and so innocent, so young. No makeup today, just water and soap. Perfect, she laid there like an angel.  
  
THREE WEEKS PASSED  
  
Nothing has happened in those three weeks. She'd been at home at night, alone. No men she shared her bed with. When she was chasing me I've always known where she was. I never lost her, always taking care of my Parker.  
  
15 YEARS AGO JAROD'S PLACE AT THE CENTRE 1.45am  
  
Who the hell is there? I heard steps and those woke me. I have never been a heavy sleeper and steps at my place at night made me nervous. What do they want to do this time? New cameras? Or microphones? What the hell ..  
  
"Jarod?", I heard a soft voice outside whispering.  
  
There were cameras everywhere except my bedroom. I asked Sydney for a little privacy and they somehow allowed me those. My bedroom and my bathroom were the only two rooms here where I was able to be on my own.  
  
A female voice outside my bedroom door.  
  
I grabbed my boxer shorts and headed towards the door. Slowly I opened it, nervous.  
  
"God it's you!" I nearly screamed and hugged her tightly. She hugged me back and I knew that it was right what I was doing. So right and it felt so perfect to have her back in my arms. "How did you manage to get down here?", I asked her and she just whispered 'Angelo' into my ear. I knew that there wouldn't even be an official way for her towards me, not at the moment. But she got down here. God I am so thankful. "This room bugged?", she asked me when our hug softened and she made a step forward into my room. "No it isn't. God I've missed you. How are you doing?" "I am happy to be back. My plane landed about two hours ago, I came straight here. Dad is somewhere in Africa and just left a message at my answering machine. Like always . you know him. After five whole years I had to see you Jarod, I had to."  
  
She stepped towards me again and slung her arms around my neck and pulled me towards her, nuzzling her face deep into my chest. I hugged her back, my arms around her back, pulling her as tight towards me as possible.  
  
"I couldn't wait till the morning to come down here." she whispered. "You don't know how much this means to me. God Vivienne it's almost five years that I haven't seen you, five years that I couldn't hold you like this. And finally you are back." "You can't know how good it feels to hear my name out of your mouth." "Vivienne . Vivienne." I softly sighed. "I really missed you." "Hold me a little longer." "Forever if you just want me to." I replied.  
  
A little later I asked her to sit down beside me. God it had been so long since I have seen her. She must have seen such a lot of the world, been through a lot but she was finally back 'home'.  
  
"Tell me what you've ." "I don't want to speak about it now Jarod, please just let us rest a little. I will tell you everything in the morning. I am so tired. It had been a long flight and I am pretty tired. I just wanted to come back home to the only person I can trust, the only person who cares for me. The only friend on the whole big world I ever had."  
  
A tear escaped my eye. I couldn't resist letting her see it. Parker had never been good with emotions. Has this changed? No it hasn't but this was just overwhelming to have her back, the only person to speak to, next to Sydney.  
  
"Do you have something for me to sleep in?" she asked. I pulled a boxer short out and a t-shirt. She changed in the bathroom and headed towards the bed where I was already resting. "Is it okay if I sleep here tonight?" she shyly asked me with a sad smile. "I don't want to stay alone my big house night." I nodded and let her crawl under the blanket with me. "Just hold me Jarod." she begged and I did so.  
  
Her back pressed against my chest, my arm around her waist, her face resting against my other arm, just a blanket over us - that's the way we fell asleep. I haven't slept this will in ages, in five long years.  
  
In the morning her face rested just above my heart when I woke up and she was already awake.  
  
"Jarod, have you ever been . that's not easy for me .. Jarod have you ever been in love?" she asked me without facing me. There was a pregnant pause while I noticed that her deep blue eyes had even become bluer than ever before and they were staring at me. "I don't know." I answered.  
  
Suddenly I felt her lips on mine. I could feel her breathing through her nose. Slowly she opened her mouth and outlined my lips with her tongue seeking for entrance. It felt too good to let her stop. I let my arm sneak over her back, pressing her down to me. One of her legs wandered between mine and while she was kissing me, an innocent boy, and her body moved above mine. God she smelled like goodness, like vanilla and cinnamon. Just perfect. Like always.  
  
"Touch me Jarod, please." she whispered when she broke the kiss.  
  
Her hips rested above mine, one leg each side of my body. Her groan touched mine. It wasn't the first time I felt this feeling, nearly going crazy. But it was the first time she acted like this. This was more than friendship. This was more than a friend in need. She was my best and only friend but this wasn't what friends where doing. This was what lovers were doing.  
  
"Jarod." she softly whispered with a husky voice, a tone I've never heard before. She sat up, pressing herself deeper into me. Her hands played with the hemline of the t-shirt. It took her a couple of seconds to throw it away. Her chest heavy with arousal, slightly flushed. God this was my Vivienne. The next moment she took my hands and pressed them against the full globes of her rising and falling chest. Her nipples were erect and they seemed to be watching me. God I've never seen something as perfect as this before. Never.  
  
"Please Jarod. I can feel you under me. I want this, I really .. I .." "I think Vivienne that I've been in love . that I am in love." With this sentence I started to move my fingers above her breasts, squeezing them slightly, making her moan when my fingers trailed to the underside. "Please." she moaned.  
  
And this special morning it happened. I haven't been that hard before and it never hurt that bad. I couldn't resist touching myself shortly before she got naked. The moment she saw it, Vivienne was grinning from one ear to the other. "Don't do that Jarod, we don't want it to be over before it's begun." I just nodded and she pulled the boxers down to my knees. Parker was already naked. I've never seen a real naked woman before and she was just stunning. Her hips were narrow, her skin so soft, her belly so flat and her chest fit her so perfectly. Her thighs tight and muscular and her smile the most amazing I've ever seen. The moment she freed me from my boxer shorts and let my erection sprang free was shocking and overpowering. It was so much at just a short little moment. "You are beautiful Jarod." she said and moved above me again, letting her centre touch my groin. I moaned softly and she grinned. For a couple of moment she was just staring at me, smiling. The other moment she grabbed me and touched me softly before she moved her already wet centre above me and got down. God. This sensation! Was nearly too much for me. Hot, wet and tight. A loud moan escaped my throat.  
  
PRESENT DAY - WEDNESDAY NIGHT MAY 27th ST. JOHN'S PUB 9.33pm  
  
_It has to work this time, please. I can't do that much longer._  
  
She was wearing a body-hugging emerald dress, not as seductive as the last time, nearly 28 days ago.  
  
_Should look good and be at least a little intelligent, just a little. I don't want to play this one more time. I feel like shit._  
  
What was happening to my Parker? I hadn't a clue yet what game she was playing, what goal she had with all that! It was the first night she wasn't nursing any drink, nothing alcoholic at least. I noticed a couple of days ago that she didn't feel too well, that she was drinking tea instead of coffee and water instead of everything alcoholic. She'd also had a couple of appointments at her doctor but there was no way I was about to know what reason she had for these appointments. No doctor would tell me and I didn't feel comfortable about playing doctor this time to steal a piece of her privacy, to look into her medical file. Not this time and not with her. It's not that she didn't look stunning as always, she hasn't lost any of her light, no she just seemed to change, slowly.  
  
MAY 27th PARKER'S MANOR 11.35pm  
  
Another night, another guy. Nothing unusual. Parker again naked on the bed, on all fours, the man behind. Slowly I got tired. Was she that bored of those men? mean the same way all the time no changes?! I may not have a lot of experiences in bed but I remember times she loved to experiment in bed. She was the mistress of the Karma Sutra, she loved every exercise. She came with books; we read Marquise de Sade together, laughed and got dirty. Before our lives changed. One night she stopped coming to my room, one day she didn't remember a piece of what happened between us. Or she didn't want to remember. Another day she was away again. For a long time. Another couple of years without seeing her, another couple of years without a single night I slept well. Another couple of years in which I couldn't think of something or somebody else than her.  
  
_Yes (moan) . another jerk!_  
  
I chuckled. She started again to fake it. Like always.  
  
She finished the faked orgasm, he groaned pulled out and showered. She laid down in bed, her head against the pillows staring at the ceiling.  
  
_What am I doing here? There are easier ways than this!_  
  
Her window was open today. God. That was torture.  
  
"I'll call you" he said when he jumped into his slacks, buttoned his shirt and stepped into socks and shoes. "See you"  
  
_We both know, Harry, that you won't call because you don't have my number honey._  
  
Nice Parker really and god this man was really a jerk. Harry.  
  
_So what now? I've three more days to go. Maybe it will happen this time, and I succeed._  
  
Slowly she got out of bed and went naked to her bathroom. I heard the shower and couldn't resist climbing into her bedroom. My nose made her scent out, not the scent of sex or should I say good sex? Hell this wasn't even real sex. It was simply that somebody has been into her, that's all.  
  
I heard her singing from under the shower. My Parker was singing under the shower?  
  
I was too fixed to her voice to notice that she had turned the water off and was now standing shocked and naked as the day of her birth in front of me.  
  
"Jarod", she nearly screamed.  
  
_God! _  
  
She looked stunning like before, her body was now glimmering wet, the water dripping on the floor behind her and she was just standing there. In pure shock.  
  
"V.."  
  
"What are you doing here rat boy?" , she tried to say angrily.  
  
_Isn't he looking nice in those blue Levis?_  
  
She can't be thinking that at the very moment. She has to be shocked, so shocked that she wasn't even embarrassed ..  
  
_I have to get into something._  
  
I went behind her and grabbed a fuzzy -- god she really owned such a thing -- fuzzy white robe and put it around her small shoulders. She put her arms into them and from behind I made a knot in the belt. My hands were around her and she wasn't even tensing.  
  
_This is feeling good. God Parker you can't let him touch you like that, touch her soul. No you can't do that. It would ruin you._  
  
I pulled her hair away from her neck, putting towel around them, drying them a little and I started to kiss her neck. She didn't say a word towards me, not tensing not moving.  
  
_Yes god this is it!_  
  
I wanted to ask her about all those men. I wanted to know what she was doing. And why! But instead my hands were resting on the knot of the belt, her back was pressed against my chest and her head was resting on my left shoulder while my tongue trailed up and down her neck. God she tasted like the Vivienne I remember. She turned around in my arms and we started to kiss.  
  
_Maybe this is the easiest way to solve this problem!_  
  
"What do you want Vivienne?" I asked her breaking the kiss. I felt like so many years ago, the one night I was allowed, the first time, to hold her in my arms.  
  
_Fuck me, god just fuck me._  
  
You can't be that dirty Parker, you've never been. Haven't you?  
  
"Make love," she whispered and her tongue found its way back into my mouth.  
  
Hand in hand we moved to the bed and I let her rest on her back while I got out of my clothes and crawled over her just in my boxer briefs.  
  
_It feels so familiar to have him here and maybe he'll succeed. Okay don't show him any weakness, and don't let him get into the condom package._  
  
I started to kiss her breasts and got really busy with them. They were soft and a little bigger than I remembered them. She got easily aroused in the past but now I could feel her wetness at my thighs.  
  
_A mouth at my nipples. How long has it been? Too long to stop him now. God this was feeling amazing._  
  
I didn't stop. There wouldn't be a man stopping this sweet torture if he only knew that the woman likes it. Not a single man!  
  
_This tongue is talented. Remember this._  
  
"I should get one of those over Vivienne." "Say it again ." she moaned. "A condom..", she interrupted. "My name Jarod, say my name again." "Vivienne ." I said softly.  
  
And there she came, that how I would describe it. Firstly her breathing got harder and shallow. Then she opened her mouth slightly and her tongue escaped and licked her lip or something like that. Her head moved slowly backwards and she pushed her breasts more into my face. Her fingers made their way into the bed sheets and cramped them into her fists.  
  
_It has never been like this before .. _  
  
"You are so beautiful Parker, really.. you are just amazing." "Jarod god, this was amazing." she whispered.  
  
_I can't believe that I have told him that. Can this happen twice in a life that you tell a man that he's good. And this body! He'll make a good sperm spender._  
  
Oh SHIT! That was the game. It can't be. No Parker it can't be what I think that it is.  
  
I pulled away from her, sitting at the edge of the bed.  
  
_What happened? Don't do this to me Jarod, don't pull away like that!_  
  
I was sitting there and couldn't believe what I've just heard. It can't really be that this was the goal in her life, a child. Suddenly I felt her hands on my shoulders and her body pressed against my back.  
  
"What have I done .?" she asked me and I couldn't believe that she just asked me that. I couldn't tell her the truth. "It's nothing ." I mumbled. "Don't dare to tell me this Jarod, don't do this to me. Please, speak to me."  
  
_What the hell? He can't do this to me, he can't!_  
  
"Why do you want me to .. I mean .. without any .. protection?"  
  
I stumbled towards my t-shirt and started to pull it over my head. "Don't." she said and stopped me. Her hands were on my chest, "sit down with me and we'll talk."  
  
_Please don't leave me Jarod, please don't. I want you to do this. God why I haven't I realised this earlier?_  
  
We sat down on the bed, she'd turned the light low and it made the moment special.  
  
_Shit this is harder than I expected it to be, how shall I tell him that?_  
  
"It's not easy for me Jar, you have to understand that ."  
  
She'd called me 'Jar'. My heart started to pump faster, my chest started to hurt. God this was my Vivienne, the woman I once fell in love with, the girl who asked me if I've ever been in love.  
  
"My doctors told me that .. God .", she grabbed my hand and pulled them, hers and mine, into her lap, "they told me that I've not a lot of time left." I looked at her in pure shock and she stared back into my face. "No Jarod not me, I am not ill, but my ova aren't doing well. Shit. they told me that there isn't a lot of chance at all to get pregnant. Never has been and because of some things I have done in the past this chance get cut down at all but maybe this is my very last chance to have a kid on my own." "But ." I wanted to start. "Please let me finish it . I am not feeling ..I mean, I won't be a perfect mother nor a good one and I've never thought about getting a baby before but maybe it's the very last chance I will have!" and a tear escaped those wonderful eyes. "I want you, I've just decided that I want you to be the . no wait . I want you to help me . God I don't know if this will succeed, it hasn't yet once and I am already taking those hormones three months and been .." "I know ." "You know?" she looked at me, stunned, ashamed and a little angry. "I know a lot about you Parker. Don't think that things like that just went over me like nothing. You've been a killer lately; you killed all those charming males in the clubs." "No. Jarod.."  
  
_He can't be saying what I think he is saying._  
  
"I've seen you but Vivienne; I don't judge you for your action. I never did." She just looked at me, her lips slightly parted. "If you want me to help you with this, why haven't you just asked me?" "You've been watching me?" "Viv...!" _No way, he can't be one of those voyeur type of guys, not Jarod!_ "Vivienne, you know that I care for you and I just .. darn why haven't you just asked me if its all about a baby?" God this was a stupid question.  
  
_'Ring' - It's me, rat boy, come over, I need your sperm._  
  
I giggled gently, trying to hide it. "I couldn't have asked you Jarod. You'd thought that it would be a trap." I nodded in agreement.  
  
"I'll help you if you let me." I let my hand, and hers, softly glide over her belly. "Help me Jarod. I can't promise you anything ." "You don't have to Vivienne, you don't have to. Just be with me, let me feel you." I whispered and turned towards her, slowly kissing her at the corner of her soft lips. "I want it to be like so many years ago ." "The time I first came into your room?" she whispered and pulled me down with her. Her breasts were rubbing against my belly. _Like so many years ago_ She sat up and like I remembered she let her centre meet my erection. I groaned and she groaned with me. _He's even bigger than I've remembered. How could I store those pictures that long somewhere in the back of my brain? Maybe I would have succeeded earlier just picturing it would be him? But Parker you've done exactly this over all those years_ I pressed my erection towards her and she grinned at me. "I could never forget this night Jarod, never." and with this sentence she grabbed me and the next moment I nearly blacked out when I was inside her. God it was as hot, as tight and as wet as I remembered. Now I could die as a happy man. I've found my way back home. She moved above me, letting her hips circle and up and down. It felt so perfect. _Home I am home_ Some soft moans escaped her lips and she didn't cry or scream. She came as I imagined that she would, soft in long and hard waves.  
  
August 8th PARKER'S MANOR 9.53 pm  
  
We sat in silent in front of her fire. She grinned and was happy. "I've one question Vivienne and don't get this one wrong ." "Just ask ." "Why all the men from behind." She blushed into a new shade of crimson. "This was the only way to imagine that it wasn't the, that it was you." she whispered and handed me a small package wrapped in yellow tissue paper. "For me?" I asked and smiled at her. _Hopefully he'll like it._ Whatever it is Vivienne, you can be sure that I'll love it.  
  
Slowly I opened the package, carefully. I pulled out the white tissue paper and what fell into my hands? Small blue and pink baby shoes.  
  
"God Vivienne.." I smiled and pulled her into a tight hug. "I can't tell ."  
  
"I .." _He is happy, thanks towards god._ "We'll solve everything Vivienne, they'll have a perfect childhood." "God Jarod, I am home." "Me too Viv, me too."  
  
THE END! You know feedback is like oxygen for a writer: ms.parker@gmx.at 


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